How To Make Eggs: 5 Ways

What tha Hell happened to my Eggs this morning?

Marco here. Do you like eggs? Well, I do. Just not all the time. But when I eat them, I want them fresh. You ever crack one open and this nasty, evil, smelly red crap comes out? What tha hell? Did you know that in the United States, every egg carton sold in a store is required to be stamped with a number between 000 and 365. This number is the Julian Date and indicates the day of the year that the eggs were cleaned and packed into the carton. A carton stamped with 000 means the eggs were packed on January 1 and a number of 213 means they were packed on August 2.

The bottom line is that you want a date as high as possible ideally only a few days to a week from the Julian date of the day you are purchasing the eggs. Do not look at the date just to the right of the Julian Date as this is the expiration date of the eggs and could be up to six weeks after the eggs were packed!
For example, an egg carton stamped with the numbers 015 Feb 28 means that the eggs were packed on January 15 but the eggs can be sold until February 28 – a month and a half later!
Who wants six week old eggs that the store can legally sell as “fresh”? Not me!

Nasty eggs?

Eggs! You have choices...

Hey, it's Marco! Are eggs good for you? Some say they are...some say they aren't. What the hell, I'm not giving up my eggs! So, if you see USDA Certified Organic on the carton, you can expect that the rules are being followed. The chickens are treated like royalty! If you see Certified Humane: Raised and Handled, you may want to raise an eyebrow. All this means is that the company gives food and water to its caged hens. Finally, if you see United Egg Producers Certified, run for the hills! These poor hens get on average about 80 square inches of living space. Go with the "Certified Organic!" Now when it comes to purchasing eggs, you only have two choices, color and size. Color is simple, white or brown. This is genetics folks! Some chickens lay white eggs, and others lay brown eggs. Color is the only difference. The nutritional value is the same. However, you'll most certainly pay more for the brown eggs because you are supposed to think that they are more natural or healthier. (Even though you throw out the shells anyway) Oh...don't toss them in the disposal! Still haven't figured that one out yet... Eggs come in small, medium and jumbo which means the nutrient content increases with size. Large egg, more protein, a little more cholesterol. Most recipes call for large eggs, so you have to compensate if you buy other sizes. Six medium eggs are equivalent to five large eggs, four extra large, and three jumbo. The grades--AA, A, or B refer to cosmetic differences. Eggs deteriorate with time, so keep them in the fridge, although I've left them on the counter for hours and still enjoyed them without dying, and use them fairly soon! And while you'll pay more for this convenience, you may also purchase them in the half dozen carton. Which is nice btw, because you can keep them in the car to throw at stray cats in the neighborhood! Or in my case, the mean ole lady across the street! Now you know...