Why is Nutrition Info So Confusing?

Hey, Marco here. My neighbor, (#1) Ph.D from Harvard tells me to go on the vinegar diet. He says I'll live to be 150. My other neighbor,  (#2) also Ph.D from Harvard tells that if I listen to neighbor number one, I'll die tomorrow. What does this mean? What works for me may not work for you. Get it? Eat real food! (But you probably have no idea what real food is...)

THE FOOD GROUPS! Shouldn't there be more??

Hey! It's Marco! So I'm reading about the four food groups. This just doesn't sit right with me. Besides, does anyone actually follow these guidelines anyway? Let's see...hmm, today I'll have seven servings of grains, two carbs...BARF!! I'm thinkin' there should be more? How about these:
1. Eggs
2. Seafood
3. Dairy Products
4. Organ Meats
5. Nuts and Seeds
6. Beans and Legumes
7. Fats and Oils
8. Fibrous Garden Veggies
9. Potatoes
10. Breads, Cereals and Grains
11. Organ Meat
12. Fruits and Juices
Just a thought! We can add ice cream and beer later...And don't forget to chew your food. Your stomach doesn't have teeth! Unless of course you like really bad gas! Chew your food! And remember, don't count the days, make the days count!